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Hearing from a 21st Century Class Leader (Part 4)

24 Thursday Feb 2011

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Accountability, Christian Living, Ministry, Wesley

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

21st Century Class Meeting, Christian formation, class meeting, Nick Weatherford, small groups

This post is the fourth and final post in a series within a series. Broadly, it is a continuation of my series of posts on the Methodist class meeting for the twenty-first century. (Click here for a link to the last general post in this series, which also contains a link to an outline of the rest of the series.) More specifically, this is the fourth post in a series written by Nick Weatherford, who is a member of Munger Place Church and a leader of a Kitchen Group, which is a 21st century class meeting. This series will allow you to hear directly from a lay person who is currently leading a class meeting. In the first post, Nick shared his story with you and talked about the role that being in a class meeting played in his recommitting to a life of Christian discipleship. In the second post, Nick talked about the impact that leading a Kitchen Group has had on his faith. The third post discussed the impact that Nick believes that these groups are having on Munger Place. In this post, Nick talks about the impact that he thinks reclaiming the class meeting for the 21st century would have on contemporary United Methodism. I deeply appreciate the time that Nick has taken in writing this series of posts, which will appear throughout the course of this week. He has agreed to follow the discussion and interact with any comments or questions that you may have, so I hope you will take advantage of the opportunity to interact with Nick.

What impact do you think reclaiming these kinds of groups could have on the larger UMC?

I personally believe that the UMC should focus on the roots of the Wesleyan tradition. When I was considering a church, denomination was not particularly important although I certainly had some preconceptions of the Methodist church. I think in many congregations they are probably quite true. However, through getting to know Kevin and Andrew, I have been exposed to John Wesley and the early foundations of Methodism. Munger has made a very conscious effort to embrace that heritage primarily through Kitchen Groups (or as I have learned, what Wesley called “class meetings”). For Wesley, being in these class meetings wasn’t just encouraged, it was required. In fact, for a time it served as your ticket to worship on Sunday. I picked up a book on Wesley and developed a crude understanding of Wesley’s theology and the formation of the early Methodist church. I learned that for a time in American history, the Methodist church grew from being quite small in number to becoming the fastest growing and largest denomination in the country. And, there weren’t even enough preachers to go around!

Wesley understood that assembling people into these class meetings was essential for their spiritual maturity. This was a place where they could watch over one another in love, to encourage each other, to encounter God’s grace and to keep people committed to the task at hand. Wesley understood that group participation and interaction would lead to active membership. The groups would create a system where people heard and shared the gospel each week, and groups would allow the church to grow in number through members being actively engaged in ministry with each other. These early groups were able to raise large sums of money to support charity. The members were active in attending to the needs of the least, last and lost in their communities.

I understand that the UMC overall is declining in numbers, and that most congregations have far more members than folks who attend church any given week. I think many people are unsure of what the Methodist tradition is about, even within its churches. Based on what I have learned from reading up on Wesley and through launching Munger, I believe the heart of the Methodist tradition is an active commitment to the church and to Christ’s ministry of reconciliation. It’s about getting your hands dirty, and committing to give financially and to serve in the community. It’s also about grace. It’s about committing to a group knowing that we are going to struggle but that this participation will ultimately keep us engaged in our relationship with God.

It’s also about seeing salvation as the starting line for your relationship with God. Wesley believed that grace allowed us to respond to God’s call in our hearts, but that we were to engage ourselves daily (methodically!) in reconciling ourselves to who God is calling us to be. I don’t find that people are afraid of expectations. People want to be involved in something that matters and they want know what the principals and theology of their church are. Embracing this is resulting in an active community of believers at Munger, many of whom did not come from the Methodist tradition.

Ultimately though, these groups don’t measure us or grade us. They are certainly not there to pressure us or make us feel guilty. They are there to encourage us and challenge us. They remind us each week that our God is a God of second chances and they help us begin looking at our lives as if our faith and relationship with God was the only thing that matters.

– Nick Weatherford

Hearing from a 21st Century Class Leader (Part 3)

23 Wednesday Feb 2011

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Accountability, Christian Living, Ministry, Wesley

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

21st Century Class Meeting, Christian formation, class meeting, Nick Weatherford, small groups

This post is the third post in a series within a series. Broadly, it is a continuation of my series of posts on the Methodist class meeting for the twenty-first century. (Click here for a link to the last general post in this series, which also contains a link to an outline of the rest of the series.) More specifically, this is the third post in a series written by Nick Weatherford, who is a member of Munger Place Church and a leader of a Kitchen Group, which is a 21st century class meeting. This series will allow you to hear directly from a lay person who is currently leading a class meeting. In the first post, Nick shared his story with you and talked about the role that being in a class meeting played in his recommitting to a life of Christian discipleship. In the second post, Nick talked about the impact that leading a Kitchen Group has had on his faith. This post discusses the impact that Nick believes that these groups are having on Munger Place. In the final post, Nick talks about the impact that he thinks reclaiming the class meeting for the 21st century would have on contemporary United Methodism. I deeply appreciate the time that Nick has taken in writing this series of posts, which will appear throughout the course of this week. He has agreed to follow the discussion and interact with any comments or questions that you may have, so I hope you will take advantage of the opportunity to interact with Nick.

What impact do I think these groups are having on Munger?

The groups are certainly becoming part of Mungers DNA. I hope that we are creating a culture where you will feel like you are missing out if you are not actively in a group. Not because anyone is trying to stand up each week and “sell” you on it, but because someone you know at church tells you what they are experiencing in a group, or even better, because you recognize something different about the Kitchen Group members.

One of the things often repeated about Munger is that it feels like home. I believe group participation really fosters this sense. I have never felt more comfortable walking into a church before and I know that part of that is due to the fact that I am going to see someone from my group across the room or chat with them after the service. Having little communities within our church really makes folks feel welcome and even excited to walk through the doors on Sunday. I can’t speak for everyone, but I have heard folks mention that for that Sunday is now their favorite day of the weekend. I imagine there are several reasons for that at Munger, but I believe that part of it is that the group experience prepares you for worship. On Sunday, we celebrate, but during our meetings we do a lot of the heavy lifting, focusing on our personal ups and downs in our faith journeys with a group of fellow believers. We encounter the grace of the Holy Spirit there. We are more aware of where we stand with God, and more eager and ready to experience His loving presence on Sunday.

From a very practical standpoint, I think the groups are accomplishing a lot of work for the church. Whenever we have a service day, an outreach event or need volunteers, the majority of the folks you will see are in one of our groups. Whatever the Lord is accomplishing in our groups is translating into service amongst the members. Part of this is bound to be the comfort zone of knowing folks at these activities and getting to hang out with your Kitchen Group friends, but I think there is also more to it than that.

– Nick Weatherford

Hearing from a 21st Century Class Leader (Part 2)

22 Tuesday Feb 2011

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Accountability, Christian Living, Ministry, Wesley

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

21st Century Class Meeting, Christian formation, class meeting, Nick Weatherford, small groups

This post is the second post in a series within a series. Broadly, it is a continuation of my series of posts on the Methodist class meeting for the twenty-first century. (Click here for a link to the last general post in this series, which also contains a link to an outline of the rest of the series.) More specifically, this is the second post in a series written by Nick Weatherford, who is a member of Munger Place Church and a leader of a Kitchen Group, which is a 21st century class meeting. This series will allow you to hear directly from a lay person who is currently leading a class meeting. In the first post, Nick shared his story with you and talked about the role that being in a class meeting played in his recommitting to a life of Christian discipleship. In this post, Nick talks about the impact that leading a Kitchen Group has had on his faith. The third post discusses the impact that Nick believes that these groups are having on Munger Place. In the final post, Nick talks about the impact that he thinks reclaiming the class meeting for the 21st century would have on contemporary United Methodism. I deeply appreciate the time that Nick has taken in writing this series of posts, which will appear throughout the course of this week. He has agreed to follow the discussion and interact with any comments or questions that you may have, so I hope you will take advantage of the opportunity to interact with Nick.

What impact has leading a group had on me and my Christian faith?

Leading a kitchen group has helped me to recognize that the Holy Spirit is active and is always amazing. Only a portion of our meetings revolve around Bible study. I have honestly struggled with that part of our meetings. I was so nervous the first couple of weeks. My voice shook as I stumbled through our lesson. I wanted them to be blessed by this experience the same way that I have been blessed. Christ’s story isn’t contained by whatever text we are studying though. He is present in the lives of our group members today and we need to hear that story as well. Each believer, strong or struggling, new to the faith or old, brings something to the group each week that someone needs to hear.

We pray each week that the Lord will be amongst us and I have come to realize that God is present, and that no matter how much I try to run a good meeting, no matter how eloquent my prayer might be, etc., the success of our groups has nothing to do with the leader at all. The Holy Spirit is truly active in our group, wanting to bless us with his presence. You cannot convince me otherwise. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking miracles and conversions here. Sometimes it’s the small steps or just the love of someone reaching out and offering some encouragement from shared experience. But I can see it. I see it in the relationships that are being formed, the changes occurring in people’s hearts and the resolve of the group to stick it out this time. I have also learned that people long for honest interactions about their faith, doubts, struggles and triumphs. It is difficult to share stories of our faith in work and often with our friends and families.

– Nick Weatherford

Hearing from a 21st Century Class Leader (Part 1)

21 Monday Feb 2011

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Accountability, Christian Living, Ministry, Wesley

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

21st Century Class Meeting, Christian formation, class meeting, Nick Weatherford, small groups

This post begins a series within a series. Broadly, it is a continuation of my series of posts on the Methodist class meeting for the twenty-first century. (Click here for a link to the previous post which also contains a link to an outline of the rest of the series.) More specifically, this series of posts is written by Nick Weatherford, who is a member of Munger Place Church and a leader of a Kitchen Group, which is a 21st century class meeting. The rest of this post and the next three posts will allow you to hear directly from a lay person who is currently leading a class meeting. In this first (and longest) post, Nick shares his story with you and talks about the role that being in a class meeting has played in his recommitting to a life of Christian discipleship. In the second post, Nick talks about the impact that leading a Kitchen Group has had on his faith. The third post discusses the impact that Nick believes that these groups are having on Munger Place. In the final post, Nick talks about the impact that he thinks reclaiming the class meeting for the 21st century would have on contemporary United Methodism. I deeply appreciate the time that Nick has taken in writing this series of posts, which will appear throughout the course of this week. He has agreed to follow the discussion and interact with any comments or questions that you may have, so I hope you will take advantage of the opportunity to interact with Nick.

A couple of weeks ago my friend Kevin Watson asked me to contribute a guest post about my experiences in Munger Place small groups to his blog. I must confess that I have been finding excuses not to get started. I have not written about my faith in quite some time and I want to do his great blog justice. Lately, I could talk to you about these things for hours, but putting them down on paper is something entirely different.

First, I thought a little background might be relevant here. I grew up in the church, particularly in the Baptist tradition here in Dallas, TX. I also attended a Christian school here. Therefore, faith was also part of the social structure of my life. It affected my standing at school and I felt like I was always under a microscope. There was pressure to talk the talk. My senior year of high school, I was not required to go to church any longer. Perhaps my mother had hoped that I would desire to go by my own will, but it didn’t happen. I figured I had had enough church: I got it. I didn’t discount it completely but my new found independence did not include anything to do with regular attendance at church. Still, I went off to college counting myself among the faithful. I can’t tell you at what point I started treating Jesus like that friend from childhood that you just didn’t want hanging around anymore, but it happened almost unconsciously for a variety of reasons I’m not exploring here. Anyway, I figured I had it down. I must not need my faith because everything is going great. Besides, I don’t really want to let people in on my little faith secret anyway. I’m having too much fun wrapped up in college and fraternity life. So began my journey through the wilderness of self reliance and self deception. I’ve got the job, the right friends, the house and the car. Weekends are booked. All is well. I was content with those things for awhile. Life was exactly as it was supposed to be. Then, the emptiness started to set in. My answers and my “things” left me feeling spiritually bankrupt. I was empty and aching.

I confess my first attempts to get back into a church were met with the same reluctance that I have felt about starting this blog post. I didn’t really know where to begin again. I dared to pray about it. My brother and his fiancé had been going to the Cornerstone service at Highland Park United Methodist Church. I figured I could tag along safely with them. Well, soon after that I heard about the Munger Place campus that was being started in East Dallas. Then I met the campus pastor Andrew Forrest at the open house. Next thing you know I’m nervously waiting in the car before going up to knock on the door at my first small group meeting (at Munger we call them “Kitchen Groups”).

What has being involved in a small group done for my own Christian faith?

I have come to realize the importance of being called into community with one another and of God’s unrelenting grace. We are not asked to, or intended to do this alone. I would argue from personal experience that our faith will wither away over time if we are not proactively involving ourselves in community with other believers.

I didn’t know what to expect when I arrived for my first meeting. We began with a Psalm, a prayer and then a short Bible study. Next, the question was posed, “How is your life in God?” I had never been asked that question before! What was everyone going to say? I was relieved I didn’t have to answer first. After hearing everyone’s responses I was at ease. This was a group of folks, from different backgrounds and experiences, who were not only willing to, but seemed to look forward to sharing the details of their relationship with Christ. There were other ways given to respond to this same question: “Are you further or closer to where you want to be spiritually?” “When did you feel closest and furthest from God this week?” “When did you most feel love this week?”

I don’t remember what I shared that night. I do remember that everyone listened, was honest and real. There was no pressure for me to pretend I had it together or that everything was perfect. The only expectation was that I show up, and that I share if I was willing. I did not have to measure up to anyone’s standard, this group accepted me as I was, where I was, and were genuinely interested in my personal relationship with the Lord.

Perhaps because of my background, I thought being really actively involved in church was something you did when you were on God’s “good side”, when you were in some sort of right relationship with him and following some set of rules. I have learned that all of us, even our pastors and leaders have rough weeks or periods where they question what God’s will is and whether or not they are brave enough to pursue it. Being honest with others about our faith helps us to be open books before God. Experiencing a little bit of grace each week by being accepted by those in our group with all of our messiness and brokenness has been a gift. I often find I hear just the thing I needed to hear whether it is in the form of encouragement, or if I am being pushed a little bit.

I think we are our own worst enemies and toughest critics. If we are not forgiving ourselves and accepting grace from each other, how can we accept the gift that Jesus has freely given us? The Kitchen Group helps me to do that. And, by more deeply understanding His grace I am more eager to dare to be like Him. So, realizing that we all have the same struggles no matter how long we’ve been at this and that faith does not always come easily for all of us has made participation in our church seem more genuine and authentic to me.

Kitchen Groups foster a community of honesty and personal accountability. The accountability comes not in any prescribed set of rules or confessions (this is not group therapy or a 12 step program) but in learning to understand and respond to all of our experiences, good and bad, through the perspective our relationship with God. I think more about my faith than I ever have in my life, asking myself more and more often “how is my life in God”, even outside of the group setting.

Finally, I think the small group experience provides a sort of spiritual checks and balances. Weeks where I have dragged myself to a meeting because I didn’t like anything that I might have to say for myself, I have gained from the group the strength I need to keep trying. Weeks where I can really feel God’s presence, I am sobered by the struggles of my brothers and sisters and I get to do some encouraging.

I think this helps us learn to approach God even in our weakness, to understand our brokenness. I was reminded just last Sunday that we so often resort to our default answers when we interact with people. Even at Church on Sunday. We smile and say we are doing well when we are asked, sweeping whatever might really be going on under the rug. I am guilty of pretending that I have it together even when I am a mess. At small group I am honest. I am forced to reconcile myself to how I am REALLY doing. I read that it saddens God when we don’t believe that we are totally forgiven and are uncomfortable approaching him. I find that in my life, I sometimes have the hardest time forgiving myself. The group experience helps me do more of that each week.

In contemporary churches, there seem to be ample opportunities for Bible studies and programs, but Kitchen Groups don’t follow any particular curriculum. We just ask you to analyze your own experiences through the lens of faith. What has God revealed to you this week? What do you need to work on? What is holding you back? It doesn’t ask you to measure up to any particular standard other than a genuine desire to be more of who you are being called to be as a follower of Jesus.

– Nick Weatherford

The Methodist Class Meeting for the 21st Century: Where Are They Now?

18 Thursday Nov 2010

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Accountability, Christian Living, Methodist History, Ministry, Wesley

≈ 22 Comments

Tags

class meeting

It has been awhile since I have added to my series on the class meeting for the 21st century. (If you have missed this series and want to learn more about the relevance of Wesleyan class meetings for the 21st century, click here for the last post and an outline of the entire series.) I recently received a great question from a reader about my post on the class meeting for the 21st century. The basic question was, Are there Methodist churches that have class meetings? The question is so good, I am going to dedicate a post to it.

The short answer is Yes!

In the Dallas-Fort Worth area I have worked with several ministries about starting something like a contemporary version of the class meeting. Here are three different ministries and the way that they have implemented a 21st century version of the class meeting in their unique contexts:

1. Munger Place Church

Munger Place Church is a congregation that was relaunched by Highland Park United Methodist Church. Public worship began at Munger Place just over a month ago. Munger Place has adopted the class meeting as their basic approach to small groups, which they call “Kitchen Groups.” In the first month as a worshiping congregation, Munger has already had a small group launch that resulted in starting five Kitchen Groups. The leaders for these five groups came from a previous small group that began meeting last spring. My family has been part of the leadership team that helped “relaunch” Munger Place and we have been blessed to be involved with Kitchen Groups as well. I am excited by the way that Andrew Forrest, the campus pastor, has embraced the class meeting model and renamed it. When Andrew talks about membership at Munger Place, he always mentions that part of the expectations of membership include involvement in a Kitchen Group. (One caveat: The link to the Kitchen Group page on the Munger website contains a video that is not specifically about Kitchen Groups. The video was actually made by Cornerstone for their small group ministry, which has a bit different emphasis.)

2. S.M.U. Wesley Foundation

This is an example of a way that a United Methodist campus ministry is implementing a Wesleyan approach to small groups. This year, the Wesley Foundation at Southern Methodist University has started both class meetings and band meetings. Every time I meet with the director, Andy Roberts, and intern from Perkins School of Theology, Robert Perales, I leave energized and excited by the ways that both Andy and Robert are pouring themselves into the students at S.M.U. From the conversations with them, I am coming to see campus ministry as a context that is particularly ripe for Wesleyan forms of communal Christian formation. Andy has recently invited me to speak with the students leaders at the Wesley Foundation over a few weeks in the Spring – I can’t wait!

3. Nexus Community, A Church of the Nazarene

Finally, I was invited by Nexus Community, which at the time was part of Richardson Church of the Nazarene and has since become a new church plant, to share with them about the history of Wesleyan small groups and their contemporary relevance. The last time I spoke with them, I broke the congregation up into small groups and we did a “speed class meeting.” This gave everyone a chance to experience a very abbreviated form of the class meeting and dip their toes in the water of talking about their lives with God. Nexus has since started three class meetings, one meets at the church and two meet in the leaders’ homes.

These are just three examples, and I only know about them because of the ways I have been invited to walk beside them as they begin to reclaim the Wesleyan practice of “watching over one another in love.” Do you know of churches that have 21st century class meetings? Have you been in one? Please leave a comment and share your experience!

Francis Asbury on Class Meetings

13 Monday Sep 2010

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Christian Living, Methodist History

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Band meeting, class meeting, Francis Asbury

In recent research, I came across the following quote in Francis Asbury’s Journal:

In meeting the society at night, I spoke plainly of some who neglected their bands and classes; and informed them that we took people into our societies that we might help them become entire Christians, and if they willfully neglected those meetings, they thereby withdrew themselves from our care and assistance. (June 12, 1774, vol. I Journal, p. 118)

This is an interesting quote because it is towards the beginning of Asbury’s ministry in America and is before he was the undisputed leader of American Methodism. It is also ten years before Asbury was ordained and Methodism in America became a Church in its own right.

Yet, from what I have read about Asbury, this was not an isolated sentiment that radically changed after 1784. Rather, it is pretty typical of his understanding both of the importance of the classes and bands for helping people “become entire Christians” as well as his understanding that this was the basic purpose of Methodism (helping people become entire Christians).

The Methodist Class Meeting for the 21st Century: The Role of the Class Leader

26 Thursday Aug 2010

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Accountability, Christian Living, Methodist History, Ministry, Wesley

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

Accountability, class leader, class meeting, Methodism, small groups

This is the sixth post in a series on the contemporary relevance and practical application of the Methodist class meeting. Here is a brief outline of what has been discussed so far:

    1. A brief history of the origin and development of the class meeting in early Methodism.
    2. Discussion of the potential contributions the class meeting can make for 21st century Methodism and compared and contrasted the class meeting to Sunday school classes, small groups and accountability groups.
    3. Discussion of the target audience for the 21st century class meeting.
    4. Top Ten ways to guarantee that your class meeting will fail.
    5. Addressed the concern that classes would be judgmental and exclusive.

In early Methodism, the class leader was a crucial position. The class leader was seen as the spiritual leader of the people in his or her class meeting. They kept track of attendance and visited people who missed the weekly meeting. They also provided support and encouragement as needed. Because the focus of this series is on the contemporary relevance and application of the class meeting, I am going to skip an elaborate fleshing out of the details of the history of the early Methodist class leader, and move directly to a discussion of what this role might look like in contemporary practice. (The “General Rules” and other available sources can be consulted for more information on the function of the class leader in early Methodism. Of course, if you have specific questions, feel free to raise them and I will do my best to address them.)

I believe that the class leader and the ability of churches to identify gifted class leaders will be the single most important factor in the success or failure of a class meeting.

As I currently understand it, the imagery of the class leader as shepherd is helpful for fleshing out the function of the class leader for the contemporary church. The class leader is the shepherd of his or her flock, and as such there are two key things that a class leader should do: 1) go after lost sheep; 2) keep the rest of the sheep moving in the right direction. By lost sheep, I mean someone who stops coming to the class meeting. When this happens, the class leader should be the first person to go after them, expressing that they have been missed, asking if they are doing ok, and asking the person if they are willing to come back to the class meeting.

Second, by keeping the rest of the sheep moving in the right direction, I mean that the class leader is the person who is responsible for making sure everyone has a chance to answer the question, “How is your life in God?” They are also responsible for making sure that something else does not take over the class meeting. For example, that it does not become a curriculum driven group, rather than a place where people watch over one another in love and discuss the current state of their souls. And most boldly, as the shepherd of the flock, the class leader, by the grace of God, seeks to move the class away from sin and closer and closer to mature discipleship.

Finally, at a very practical level, the class leader is the one who runs the meeting. The most important part of this dynamic is that the class leader should begin and end the meeting with a prayer (or ask someone else, in advance, if they would be willing to pray) and then the class leader should begin the meeting by being the first one to answer the question, “How is your life in God?” This is important because it gives an example of how the question can be answered for any new visitors and it eases the anxiety and uncertainty in the group about who is going to go first. After the leader is done, she should ask the next person the question.

At this stage, several things come to mind that the class leader should not do:

The class leader is not a teacher. It is not the class leaders job to come with all of the answers. And it is absolutely not their job to come with a lesson to teach or a topic to study. Class leaders should see themselves as facilitators, not teachers.

The class leader should not allow the weekly meetings to last more than an hour and a half, and a successful class meeting can occur in one hour. Of course there should be freedom for the Spirit to move, and there will be weeks when it is obvious to everyone that the group is not done yet. However, this should be the exception and not the rule. People will stop coming to the class if it becomes a weekly marathon meeting.

The class leader should not allow the class to grow beyond twelve members. As the group grows, the class leader should seek to discern who God may be calling to lead a new class. The class leader should talk to that person outside of the class and express their feeling that they believe this person would be an excellent class leader, and then ask them to prayerfully consider leading a new class. Once a new leader has been identified, the group should divide.

The class leader should not feel the need to respond to every person at every meeting. Often there will be no need for any response to someone’s revelation of how things are going in their life with God. Other times someone besides the class leader will have exactly the right thing to say.

There is much more that could be said, but I am going to stop here (I need to get back to reading). What are your thoughts? What have I missed? What do you think would be crucial for a class leader to do? What would be essential for a class leader to avoid?

Is the Class Meeting Judgmental and Exclusive?

11 Wednesday Aug 2010

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Accountability, Christian Living, Methodist History, Ministry, Wesley

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

Accountability, Christian formation, Christian living, class meeting, exclusive, judgmental, Methodism, small groups

This is the fifth post in a series on the contemporary relevance and practical application of the Methodist class meeting. In the first post, I gave a brief history of the origin and development of the class meeting in early Methodism. In the second post I discussed the potential contributions I believe the class meeting can make for 21st century Methodism and compared and contrasted the class meeting to Sunday school classes, small groups and accountability groups. In the third post I discussed the target audience for the 21st century class meeting. In the fourth post I revealed (with tongue somewhat in cheek) ten ways to guarantee that your class meeting will fail. In this post I will discuss one of the main concerns that people have with any form of accountable discipleship – the fear that they will be judged.

One of the main fears or concerns that keeps people from joining a group like a class meeting is that they are afraid they will be judged. Part of the fear is that if I knew who you really were, I would never be able to accept you or continue to love you. And if I don’t meet your expectations, will you exclude me? Will I be told I am not good enough?

Judged. Excluded. Nobody likes to feel either judged or excluded. Most people will actively avoid placing themselves in situations where they know in advance they will feel judged or excluded. And The United Methodist Church has spent millions of dollars on an add campaign that, among other things, tries show that the UMC is neither judgmental nor exclusive.

So, how does this relate to the class meeting?

If we are honest, the class meeting is unavoidably a place where judgments are made. And it is a place of exclusion. But it makes all the difference in the world what judgments are made and what is excluded.

In contemporary Methodism, one of the quickest ways to dismiss something is to label it as judgmental or exclusive. Could it be that there is a place for both in the Church and in the Christian life?

Again, what we are excluding makes all the difference in the world. The first Methodists were obsessed with trying to figure out how best to exclude sin from peoples’ lives. They were clear that there are things that are not of God, that keep us from growing in our relationship with God. If we are to pursue growth in holiness, these things must be excluded. They are not neutral. It is not a matter of indifference if they are allowed to reign over our lives.

I doubt that many people would argue that Christians should not try to remove sin from their lives. The next part may be more contentious. One way of understanding early Methodism is that it excluded people who were not serious about following Christ. The Methodist movement was not designed to make people comfortable in listless apathetic discipleship. Rather, it was designed to help people experience the fullness of the abundant life that God offers every single person in Christ.

Hear me carefully: I believe that contemporary Methodism should welcome every single person, should reach out to every single person with the good news of what God has done for them in Jesus Christ. The gospel is not only for some, it is for everyone. In that sense the message of contemporary Methodism should be radically inclusive. But I do not believe that contemporary Methodism should pass out cheap grace. I do not believe we should tell people that it is ok if they profess faith in Christ, but do not allow it to impact the way that they live their lives.

I don’t have the implications of this fully worked out. I think that Methodism needs to wrestle a bit with whether excluding people who are not interested in following Christ may be necessary in order to help those who are to grow in their faith. Ultimately, the way I would see this working right now, it would not literally involve excluding people from the UMC, but it would involve intentionally not catering to people who are interested in the church only because it makes them feel comfortable, because it is their country club. The efforts and energies of the church should be fully focused on proclaiming the good news and inviting people into the new way of life that is available in the light of this news. This way of life excludes sin in order to more fully love God and serve others. In American culture today, I believe that something like the class meeting has enormous potential to help people live more fully into this new way of living.

What about judgment?

I want to say two things about judgment, as it relates to the class meeting for the 21st century. First, the fear of being judged, seems to me, to be related to a deeper issue – trust. Imagine having lunch with a perfect stranger, someone you have never met. How would you feel if they began to express concerns about the way that you were living your life? Probably not good.

Now imagine having lunch with the person you trust and respect more than anyone else in the world. How would your reaction be different if they expressed similar concerns? I hope your reaction would be very different. There are a handful of people in my life, who, if they sat me down and expressed concerns about the decisions I was making, I would listen very carefully. There are people whom I trust and respect so much that my instinct would be that they could see things about my life more clearly than I can. I would listen and likely take their advice because I know that they love me. I know that they care about me more than about whatever part of my life we are discussing.

My point is this: I am not sure it is healthy to avoid ever being in situations where you are judged. In my own life, I know that it would make me incredibly vulnerable to self-deception or to rationalization. When it comes to being judged, the identity of the person making the judgments makes all the difference in the world.

Having said that, I don’t think the contemporary class meeting is best conceived as a place where other people make judgments about your life. In the classes I have been a member of, it has been rare for someone to judge me or call me to account for something.

This leads to the second point about judgment, the primary person judging you in a class meeting is yourself. The class meeting is a place where you take a weekly inventory of your own life. You make judgments about how things are going in your life with God. Some weeks you will judge that things are going very well, that you have been particularly aware of God’s grace and have cooperated with this grace. Other weeks, for whatever reason, you will judge that things are not going very well. On other occasions, you may be doing everything right, and yet, God seems strangely distant. The point is that in a class meeting, it is not the group’s job to tell you about your relationship with God, or evaluate it. Rather, you are telling the group about your experience from the past week.

Sometimes judgment and exclusion are the bogey men of the Church. Our fear of them can cause us to forget that they are descriptive terms, that can describe harmful events in some contexts and healthy, even necessary, events in other situations. The class meeting has the potential to be a place that is judgmental and exclusive in a negative sense. However, if this happens it is a malfunction of the class meeting, and not its best use. On the other hand, the class meeting has the potential to create a place where we can gather together to make judgments about our own lives with God, with the goal of removing (or excluding) the things that are hindering our growth in grace and nurturing the things that are an asset to our discipleship.

What do you think?

Top Ten Ways to Guarantee that Your Class Meeting will Fail

09 Monday Aug 2010

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Accountability, Christian Living, Methodist History, Ministry

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

Accountability, Christian formation, class meeting, Methodism, small groups

This is the fourth post in a series on the contemporary relevance and practical application of the Methodist class meeting. In the first post, I gave a brief history of the origin and development of the class meeting in early Methodism. In the second post I discussed the potential contributions I believe the class meeting can make for 21st century Methodism and compared and contrasted the class meeting to Sunday school classes, small groups and accountability groups. In the third post I discussed the target audience for the 21st century class meeting. In this post I will give you the top ten ways to guarantee that your class meeting will fail.

Yep, you read that right. Is there a lot of pressure in your church, district, or annual conference to start a class meeting in your church? But you don’t really like the idea? Well, here is how you can start one, but torpedo it. If you do these ten things, I guarantee that your class meeting will be an utter failure.

(In case you missed it, that was an attempt at humor.)

On a more serious note, the intent of this post is to identify some of the major things in small group dynamics that can undermine the vitality or long term success of a group. If you are serious about starting something like a class meeting today, you will need to think about how you are going to address some of the challenges that come with starting such a group. Some of the things I will mention can be pretty touchy, and may even make people angry if you call them out on it in the moment. One strategy that can help the group be aware of some of these dangers is to name them before they become a problem. There is a decent chance on any given day nearly everyone in the group will struggle with at least one of these things. Finally, humor can be a way to address serious things in a way that people can hear more easily. So, talking about how to guarantee the failure of a class meeting can be a disarming way to name some things that might make people feel a bit defensive.

Ok, without further ado, here are the “Top Ten Ways to Guarantee that Your Class Meeting will Fail”:

#10: Never start one.

This one is pretty straight forward. The easiest way to guarantee that your class meeting will fail is to talk about it and consider it, but never actually start one.

#9: Meet at an inconvenient or irregular time.

Another way to ensure that your class meeting will fail is to meet at a time that many people who would like to join the group simply cannot attend. This is probably the one that is most obvious, and least likely to be the downfall of a sincere effort to start a class. The more likely obstacle would be failing to meeting regularly and consistently. The group is most likely to succeed if the group meets at the same time and place every week. It may not necessarily be fatal to the group, but if the meeting place changes, someone will inevitably show up at the wrong location one week. Similarly, if the group is meeting at your house and the group does not meet at the same time each week, you will inevitably have someone forget when the group is meeting and show up at your house expecting to meet.

#8. Turn the class meeting into a curriculum driven group.

About 3 – 6 months after the group starts meeting, people will begin to get restless and wonder what is next. A well-intentioned person may suggest that the group read and discuss a book they just read that really inspired and challenged them in their walk with God. If and when this happens, there needs to be a gentle stubbornness by the group, and particularly the leader, that the group is not going to become a study group. Bible studies and other study groups are not bad, but they are not class meetings. For a class to succeed today, the group needs to have a deep commitment that the purpose of the group is to take a weekly inventory of how things are going in each person’s life with God.

#7: Forget the differences between classes and bands.

Classes are groups with men and women, married and single people all together. The group should have somewhere around 7 to 12 people in it. The point of the group is to weekly gather to support and encourage each other in the common goal of growing in faith and being transformed by the grace of God. The basic question of the group is: “How is your life in God?”

Bands are groups that are either all men or all women, and are sometimes also divided based on whether the members are married or single. Bands should have about 5 people in them. The point of bands is to bring actual sins that have been committed into the light, to encourage one another in the common goal of pursuing entire sanctification, or being made perfect in love for God and neighbor. The basic question of the band meeting is: “What sins have you committed since our last meeting?”

If someone thinks they are joining a class, but it functions like a band meeting, they will likely feel that they are in over their heads. Further, there is a greater degree of spiritual maturity required of the band than there is in the class meeting, so if people jump straight into the bands before they are ready, a host of issues can arise.

#6. Select the leader based on anything other than spiritual maturity and spiritual leadership.

The role of the leader in the class meeting is important. They are the one who will gently move the conversation on as needed, ensure that every person has a chance to talk, and otherwise facilitate the meeting. A class meeting that has a spiritual leader of maturity leading the group will have a key person in place to guide the group through its development and through challenges the group may face. This person is also a key person for helping to set the tone for the group by being the first one to answer the question “How is your life with God?” every week and by keeping the group focused on its purpose.

#5. Allow one person to dominate the conversation.

My guess is that this is one that basically every group will struggle with. For one thing, classes will be most comfortable for people who like to talk and process things by talking about them. This is one area that is particularly important to address up front. At the beginning of a new class meeting, the leader should stress that it is important that every person be given the opportunity to talk. The leader may even want to acknowledge that some people talk more easily than others, they may need to challenge themselves to be more concise and aware of how long they have been talking. On the other hand, those who are less comfortable talking may need to challenge themselves to talk a bit more. If this is addressed up front, then it will not seem as personal if the leader gently suggests that the conversation needs to move to the next person during a meeting.

When this needs to happen, and it will need to happen, the leader should not say, “You have been talking for too long, let’s move on.” Almost always, when someone talks too long, even though everyone else may be suffering over how long they have been talking, the person who is actually talking has no idea how long it has been. The best approach is to gently interrupt by thanking them for sharing, briefly identifying one thing they have said that was particularly appreciated, and then simply asking the next person the question, “How is it with your soul?” or “How is your life in God?” The person who is interrupted may feel embarrassed, but if the leader moves the attention to someone else, the person who is embarrassed won’t have to have the double embarrassment of having the attention be on them.

By the way, this one hits pretty close to home for me, because I am one of the people who processes things by talking. As a result, I have to really work to be aware of how long I have been talking. I also have to work on being concise. (I mean, look how much I just wrote about this… just be glad we weren’t talking about this one in person!)

#4. Have all the answers.

This is a catch-all for several ways to ruin a class meeting. In small group dynamics there is often an expert who emerges in the group. You probably know what I am talking about, someone who has all the answers. They are the only person who fails to realize when a rhetorical question has been asked. To them, every question has an answer. And they always know what the answer is. These people also have the best of intentions. They are passionate about their faith and are eager to share what they have learned with others. They really believe they are helping. However, one of the best ways to stifle a conversation is by being a know-it-all. Other people in the group will be less likely to be vulnerable and share doubts, anxieties, or concerns that they are having if there is one person who always has everything figured out and leaves no room for other people to be in flux, or working through things.

Another way this can manifest in a group is if the leader sees herself as a teacher, not a facilitator. This can be deadly, because if the leader is the one causing the problem, it will be very difficult for the group to overcome. So, if you are involved in starting something like a class meeting, know that it is not your job to have a solution to every problem that people in your class raise. You are not there to teach people how to be better Christians, you are there to walk with them as they seek God’s transforming grace. And, you are there because you need them to walk with you as you seek God’s transforming grace in your own life.

One more thing: If you have been in a lot of small groups and have never noticed that this is sometimes a problem of small group dynamics… you are probably the one with all the answers. (Sorry, someone had to tell you.)

#3. Hide during the meeting.

I don’t mean literally hiding, like behind the sofa… though that would certainly be a problem, and really weird. By hiding I mean either not talking or not being honest about what is really going on in your life with God. This doesn’t mean that the class meeting is the place for your to bring all the skeletons that have been in your closet. In fact, the class meeting is not the place for that.

Members who have had a bad week, may be tempted to gloss over their struggles by saying that things have been fine, or ok. If you are in a class meeting for an extended period of time, you will almost certainly have weeks where it is NOT well with your soul. It it ok to be honest about that. In fact, it is vital for the future wellness of your soul to be honest when things are not going well. When it is not going well in your life with God, this is the time when the class meeting may be the biggest means of grace in your life. If you are honest, you will realize you are not alone. You will receive sympathy and prayers from the group. And in verbalizing your spiritual malaise, you may learn about what is going on in your life with God.

Related to this, there is also sometimes a tendency in class meetings to feel like you have to one-up yourself every week. Resist this temptation. Simply be honest and real.

#2. View the group as a place to gather gossip.

One of the best ways to destroy a class meeting is by breaking the confidence of the group. It needs to be clearly said that what is shared in the class meeting is confidential. It is not a topic of conversation with friends or family members outside of the group. If there is some reason that talking with someone else might be helpful to the person who shared, what was said in the group can only be shared with someone outside of the group if the person who shared it gives their permission.

If you struggle to keep secrets, or to keep things to yourself, the class meeting may not be for you. Confidentiality is not optional.

#1. Be unwilling to be challenged to grow in your faith and be transformed by the grace of God.

The class meeting is an invaluable asset for people who desire to grow in their faith and seek to be transformed by the grace of God. When people gather together to support and encourage one another, God will also be there. The class meeting, however, is not for those who do not want to be changed. It is not for those who are content to profess faith in God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit on Sunday morning and then live the rest of the week as if there is no God. The class meeting is for those who want to a tool that will help them check in to see how their faith is impacting their life.

All of the concerns about what might go wrong cannot be addressed in advance. We are messy people. We are good at sinning. Something could go wrong. But, if we believe that the Holy Spirit is active and present with us, we don’t have to have everything mapped out in advance. We should be prudent in doing what we can to make a group like a class meeting as likely to succeed and be a blessing to its members as possible. However, we should also leave room for the Spirit to guide and direct each meeting.

Nearly in the top ten: Meet for more than 1.5 hours

Initially, the desire to allow the meeting to continue comes because something exciting is happening in the group. Someone has some sort of breakthrough and the group wants to allow them to process it. This is well and good, and even ok if it happens occasionally. However, it should be rare. If a weekly meeting consistently lasts longer than an hour and a half, people will begin to feel exhausted just by the thought of going to the group. The leader of the group should remember that a commitment to attend a group once a week for 1-1.5 hours is already a big time commitment. Leaders should work to formally end the meeting on time by closing with a prayer. Conversation can certainly continue among those who wish to stay, or talk at their cars. But formally ending the meeting gives those who need to leave the opportunity to do so.

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The Methodist Class Meeting for the 21st Century: Who Is This For?

04 Wednesday Aug 2010

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Accountability, Christian Living, Methodist History, Ministry, Wesley

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

Accountability, Christian living, class meeting, Methodism, small groups

This is the third post in a series on the contemporary relevance and practical application of the Methodist class meeting. In the first post, I gave a brief history of the origin and development of the class meeting in early Methodism. In the second post I discussed the potential contributions I believe the class meeting can make for 21st century Methodism and compared and contrasted the class meeting to Sunday school classes, small groups and accountability groups. In this post I will discuss the target audience for the 21st century class meeting.

Simply put, class meetings are designed for anyone who wants to grow closer to God. As I mentioned in the last post, they can help ensure that people do not fall through the cracks in a church. Classes also help people be self-aware of what is happening in their lives as Christians. What difference is their faith making in their life? And they provide a place for people to talk with other people who want to grow closer to God about what is happening in their life with God.

In the last post, John Meunier raised an important issue. John wrote: “Didn’t the class leader have a role that included giving advice and/or reproof as needed? It seems like that would be felt as more intense to most people today. Not as intense as the bands, but more intense than many folks want.”

As far as I can tell, John is right. I think there would be resistance to joining something like a class meeting among many people for two reasons: 1) Generally speaking, Methodists have not been in the habit of talking about their lives with God for a long time. 2) Contemporary Methodism’s desire to avoid being judgmental or condemning has led to an almost total abandonment of any real standards or expectations for its members. This was illustrated recently by, of all people, Jon Stewart who said that Methodism was like the University of Phoenix of religions, you pay $50 check “I agree” and you are saved. Stewart has perhaps given Methodism too much credit for having membership standards – because there is no cost currently associated with being a Methodist.

So, at one level people might be uncomfortable because they are being asked to talk about something they aren’t used to talking about with other people. At another level they might be uncomfortable because they are being asked to make a meaningful commitment to join together with a small group of people with the purpose of growing in their lives with God.

My response is that comfort is not the best indicator of whether or not something is good for you, or whether you need to do something.

For my first two years as a Ph.D. student, I did not take good care of my body. I did not exercise and I ate whatever sounded good. This approach was, generally speaking, very comfortable. Recently, I committed to exercise 20 minutes or more at least 3 times a week. The first time I ran (using that word very loosely!) was not comfortable, in fact it was painful. I thought I might throw up at the end of those first 20 minutes and the next day my legs were sore. I am slowly getting in better shape, but running (using that word just a bit less loosely now) is never comfortable for me.

This may not be the best example, but we could easily come up with many other examples of how comfort is not necessarily a good or accurate indicator of right or wrong, or of what is best for us.

More directly to John’s concern, in my experience people who are gifted at leading groups like class meetings are quick to listen and both cautious and sensitive about offering advice or correction. At this point, I am going to set this aside, because I plan on writing more extensively about the role of the class leader in future posts – which is what I think is primarily at issue here.

So far I have argued that the class meeting is for everyone who wants to grow closer to God, but I have also admitted that it will likely intimidate many people who sincerely desire to grow closer to God. What is the best way to address this tension?

This is a key place where pastors and lay leaders have an opportunity to challenge people to move outside of their comfort zone. An effective way to address this tension would be for the person who has the vision for starting groups like this to acknowledge that the thought of joining something like this might be a little bit scary, but that is actually a very normal reaction. One thing I have done to ease this tension is to make the first meeting more of an information session, where people will have the chance to learn more about the group, what its goals are, and why someone would benefit from being a part of it. I always stress that people who are interested, but not sure if this is for them should come, that coming to the first meeting is part of discerning whether this is for them. It is NOT a commitment to join the group. In other words, you can give people the freedom to come and learn more, without feeling like showing up means they are going to be forced to permanently join.

More importantly, anyone who is trying to start these type of groups needs to be able to make the case for why facing the fears or discomfort that will result from getting involved will more than offset the initial discomfort. If someone has been part of a group like this before, it would be very appropriate for them to share the hesitation they may have initially had to joining and then to share the ways that the group was a blessing and actually did help them grow closer to God.

Ultimately, I believe there are a significant number of Methodists who want to grow closer to God so much so that they are willing to move outside of their comfort zone and take a risk if they are convinced that the risk is likely to help them actually grow in their faith. The key, then, will be to make a persuasive case that this type of group is a key tool to that end. It might not hurt to remind them that for our spiritual ancestors, it was believed to be an indispensable tool.

What do you think? Have you been in a group like this? Did it help you grow closer to God?

If you are just joining this conversation, welcome! Please continue to feel free to ask any questions that this post may have raised for you. You can email me directly at deeplycommitted at gmail dot com or leave a comment on this post.

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