The Rev. Andrew Forrest has written Love Goes First: Reaching Others in an Age of Anxiety and Division and it is easily one of the ten most important books I have read in the past decade.

Love Goes First offers penetrating cultural analysis. Andrew does the best job of anyone I’ve seen of providing a roadmap for the times in which we are living. I have read a fair amount of cultural analysis that leaves me feeling discouraged, pessimistic, and hopeless. Basically, the feeling I’m left with is: Why even try?
Almost as bad, may worse actually, is cultural analysis that is thin, overly optimistic, and obviously in denial about the seriousness of the challenges we are facing.
More importantly than offering an accurate diagnosis of where we are, Andrew points us to the way forward. On the one hand, Andrew is honest about the challenges facing the church, which can be sobering. On the other hand, he refuses to be a victim of circumstances beyond his control.
I have seen quite a bit of hand wringing about problems facing American Christians in our cultural moment. I have not seen nearly as much positive and proactive guidance on how to move forward that does not somehow involve putting our heads in the sand.
Here is the unique challenge facing the American church today: For the first time ever, we are faced with reaching a culture that has been exposed to the gospel and is largely built on Christian foundations but is now post-Christian. As Forrest puts it, “It is certainly nothing new for the church to be hated… but it is unprecedented for the church to be hated by a culture that once used to honor and respect it.” (8-9)
And so, Love Goes First is “about how we, as American Christians, can reach the people who believe we are the problem, those who hate us and all we stand for.” (7)
Here is the big idea of the book that Andrew unpacks over the following chapters:
“If you want to change the world, you have to go first, because love goes first.” (10)
Some people will miss just how profound that statement is because they will think they already know it. So many of the most important truths in life are obvious when they are stated, but their deep impact comes from the commitment to live according to reality.
It is living according to the way things are that is difficult and potent.
“If you want to change the world, you have to go first, because love goes first.”
This requires willingness to be rejected. It requires willingness to be hurt emotionally, perhaps even physically.
Andrew is a wordsmith. And this book has so many truth bombs sprinkled throughout. Here are a few:
“Young people interviewed on the street might applaud our accommodationist values, but they would never come to our churches.” (48)
“Accommodation would mean a church without distinctiveness, judgment would mean a church without success, withdrawal would mean a church without purpose. What do we do now? Our only option is to move forward…. to go first.” (68)
“One of the great problems with contemporary higher education is that our young people are being permanently infantilized because we are teaching them to prioritize feelings above facts, a manner of instruction that will ultimately benefit neither them nor us.” (77)
“Going first as I use the phrase is not about you at all: It’s about the other.” (116)
“The Bible’s understanding of love is exactly opposite to that of the world.” (135)
“Going first comes with a cost. The love of God, though freely given, was indescribably costly to give. The same is true for us – yes, going first has the power to change the world, but it is going to cost us everything.” (179)
“If you decide to go first, you will get hurt. It will sting. You’ll be misunderstood.” (187)
These quotes give you a taste of the seriousness of this book. Andrew is not playing games. He is not tickling ears. This book is a product of years of leadership in the church and reflection on how fast things have changes over the past decade or so.
Love Goes First is the battle plan for how Christians can turn the tide in a time of increased hostility and even persecution in our day. The book does not offer wishful thinking for people who just want everything to get better without having any skin in the game or having to risk anything.
My prayer is that Love Goes First will serve as a wakeup call to the American Church. My experience in my own part of the American church has been so insular, petty, and obsessed with denominational fighting that I think the enemy has been using it to keep the church focused on itself and distracted from its central mission.
In all times and all places, the church is called to reach everyone, everywhere, and teach them everything Jesus has taught us. (This is how Andrew paraphrased the Great Commission [Matthew 28:16-20] in his sermon this weekend, the first in a sermon series on Love Goes First. It was fantastic. You should watch it.)
How are we doing with making disciples of Jesus Christ?
In my experience, every church in the United States knows that their mission is to make disciples of Jesus Christ. And yet, almost no churches know how to actually do this.
We need to recalibrate the activities that happen in the church and ask ourselves: Is this helping the people who participate take the next step in their faith in Jesus? Is this helping someone move from considering the claims of the gospel of Jesus Christ to faith in him? Is this helping someone with new faith in Jesus become closer to Jesus? Is this helping someone who is growing closer to Jesus learn to put Jesus at the very center of their lives and become a mature committed follower who is willing to risk everything for faithfulness to Christ?
Love Goes First is not a discipleship handbook. It is more like someone pulling the fire alarm. The building is on fire. We’ve been so numbed and complacent, we’ve fallen asleep. I believe the Lord is waking the American church from its slumber. And I think Forrest’s book is one of the ways he is doing that.
I’d like to offer a personal word about Andrew Forrest. I believe Andrew is the best preacher of his generation. He is a bold and courageous leader. He is an exceptional pastor. I’ve known Andrew for 17 years. We met during my first year in the PhD program at SMU when he was working on his MDiv. Our sons were born within a few weeks of each other while we were in Dallas. My wife and I were part of the launch team for the church Andrew and his wife led in East Dallas for more than a decade. Andrew and I were in an accountability group together for several years.
From 2011 to 2023, I moved 4 times. During those years, Andrew was a faithful friend. In August of 2022 Andrew became the senior pastor of the church my parents had been attending for more than a decade, Asbury Church in Tulsa, OK. Andrew came to Asbury at a difficult time in my life. My mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer in the Fall of 2022 and she died in early 2023. Prior to my mom’s illness, I was in the midst of the most challenging season in work and ministry I have ever experienced. Andrew’s kindness and concern for me since we met in 2011 has been remarkable and consistent.
The generosity of Asbury Church made it possible for my family to move to Tulsa and begin work at Asbury Theological Seminary, anchoring the seminary’s Tulsa Extension Site. Working for Andrew at Asbury Church has been so fun! I have learned so much.
By the way, Andrew writes regularly at his own website. You should check it out.
Love Goes First is an excellent book. It stands on its own. You don’t have to know the author to read it and benefit from it. However, it is a particular blessing to me to know the author of this book and be able to enthusiastically commend Andrew to you as much as the content of the book itself.
You should buy a copy of Love Goes First now. Read it. Talk about it with your staff, your community, your family, and your friends. It officially releases on October 7th, one week from today. Pre-order it now.
I don’t know what is going to happen in the American church. Only the Lord knows. But I am sure that we must follow the example of our Lord and go first in love to a world that is broken, hurting, and angry.
Even if it costs us everything.
Love Goes First is a prophetic word for such a time as this. I hope you will check it out!
[Full disclosure: Andrew is also my boss. He did not ask me to write this review. I am writing it solely because I believe this book will help you if you are a leader in the church or seeking to grow in your faith in Jesus.]
Kevin M. Watson is a Pastor and the Senior Director of Christian Formation at Asbury Church in Tulsa, OK. He is also on the faculty at Asbury Theological Seminary, anchoring the Seminary’s Tulsa, OK Extension Site. His most recent book, Doctrine, Spirit, and Discipline describes the purpose of the Wesleyan tradition and the struggle to maintain its identity in the United States. Affiliate links, which help support my work, used in this post.







