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This post is written with ministry leaders in mind. As I am using ministry leader here, I have anyone from an ordained clergy person all the way to a lay person who is leading or doing ministry in any way at all. 

If you are trying to be faithful and be used by God in some way in the world, this is for you. I hope it helps you understand one key aspect of ministry that I have never heard anyone talk about in this way. My hope is that fleshing this out will encourage you to press through the risk that is inherent in ministry and remind you that you are not alone.

The Gospel Is Really Real

I did not grow up going to church. I had a typical evangelical conversion experience when I was in 8th grade. This meant that I came to believe that Jesus Christ had died for my sins and that he was willing to forgive me of all my past sins if I gave my life to him. Unpacking this would be a post of its own. Maybe someday.

For now, I want to say that there was something about my conversion that had an innocence and simplicity about it. I both really believed I was called to give my life fully and completely to Jesus and was aware that I did not know how to do this. 

I read the Sermon on the Mount and Matthew 5:48 was fascinating to me: “You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

Over the next decade or so, I discovered that most American Christians found the expansive, demanding, and what seemed to me all-encompassing nature of the moral vision of the New Testament to be largely irrelevant. It was almost like an inside joke: You had to be there to understand it. And, well, basically don’t worry about it too much. It isn’t really how we have to live.

This, by the way, is why I am so drawn to Dallas Willard’s work. Willard was an anonymous mentor whose work gave me permission to take the New Testament vision seriously on its own terms and hope that Jesus really could save me from the condition of sin and the frustrating consistency with which I committed individual sins. (If you haven’t read Willard’s Divine Conspiracy, you should. It is demanding but it is one of those books that is worth struggling with.)

Here is the point I need to make for the rest of this post to make sense: At some level that I could not articulate for a long time, I knew that the Gospel was really real. Faith in Jesus was supposed to change everything, even if it hadn’t yet.

Over the years, I also came to have an increased sense that a relationship with the Triune God also meant that in some mysterious way he wanted to partner with me to change the way things are in the world.

Can I give you just one example from the Gospels?

Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it. (John 14:12-14)

If that doesn’t awaken your imagination for what is possible through belief in Christ in this life, probably nothing will.

From Theological Buffet Line to Making Truth Claims I’d Stake My Life On

In seminary, I was initially overwhelmed by the post-modern confusion of the mainline seminary I attended. It felt like basic Christian doctrine was like a buffet line. If you like broccoli, take it. If you don’t like it, just leave it. Don’t worry about it too much either way. Except, in this case, “broccoli” might be something more substantial like the divinity of Jesus, or the resurrection of Jesus.

I remember feeling deeply frustrated one day as it just became obvious to me that I could not succeed as a pastor by “living the questions” or whatever nonsense I was being offered at the time. I had a basic understanding that I needed to make truth claims I was willing to stake my life on and that I believed others should build their lives on as well.

The place where I began to feel like I was making some headway was when I took Methodist History and Doctrine in seminary. In that class, I read about John Wesley’s rigorous and disciplined approach to the Christian life that was combined with what I’ve come to refer to as an audacious optimism that the grace of God is sufficient to break every chain in our lives, to free us entirely from the grip of sin on our lives.

There may be a bewildering array of ways to think about being a Christian broadly conceived. But, as a seminary student in my early 20s, I thought I could at least speak with confidence about what it means to follow Jesus in the Wesleyan theological tradition. I felt like there was a there there. (The irony is that over the following 15 years, I had a front-row seat to the collapse of Methodism.)

The Holy Spirit Works Through Us

All of this was background to recently being able to articulate something simple but extremely important.

As I came to faith and initially grew in my faith, I had a basic belief that God is alive and active. I believed the Lord is involved in the world he has created. I don’t think I could have articulated it well, and it still often feels like sand falling between my fingers when I try to nail it down systematically, but there was a clear conviction that the Holy Spirit wants to use me or partner with me to do his work in the world. Somehow, God does not need me to accomplish his purposes and also delights in my desire to be used by him. 

The Hardest Thing to Do in Ministry Is Hold Space for God to Do What Only He Can Do

Here is what I’m building to: I have learned that the hardest thing I do in ministry is hold space for God to do what only he can do. I am also certain that this is the most important work that I do. I think this is the most important work anyone does in ministry.

It is hard because it is always vulnerable, and it always involves risk. It is vulnerable for me because I have come to a place of conviction that must be named. “I believe God wants to do something right now.” 

And I might be wrong. 

The only way to know if I’m right is to take the risk. And then I have to wait for two things:

1. Does anyone respond?

2. Does God do what I have said I believe he wants to do?

This is vulnerable because it is when I am most aware that I am not in control and I am not God. I know I can preach a sermon that will not completely embarrass myself, at least most of the time. I have quite a bit of control of that. But I also know that I want to see the fire of God more than I want to give a careful sermon or play it safe and just do what I can do in my own strength.

I know that what I am able to give is nowhere near sufficient for the needs of, well, anyone.

I know this because I know my own need for the Triune God himself to meet me with his grace and empowering presence.

I stumbled through this for several years, saying things like: “We need to write checks that will bounce, unless God makes them good.” (I know. No one writes checks anymore.)

This Takes Work!

If you want to be part of ministry that makes a difference for eternity, you have to connect with the Lord in a way that goes beyond your natural ability and giftedness. You have to develop a prayer life, struggle to discern the voice of the Holy Spirit, and risk saying publicly what you believe you have heard.

And then you have to hold space for people to respond and for the Lord to move.

I think doing this is the most important work in ministry and doing it well is one of the key markers of mature Christian leadership. 

Discerning the voice of the Holy Spirit takes practice. And I think it is a skill everyone who is in Christ can learn.

It also has never stopped feeling vulnerable and risky to me. 

This summer, I preached a sermon at Asbury Church, where I sensed the Lord wanted me to invite people to be anointed to do the works Jesus does. I was preaching John 14:12-18, part of which I cited above. I was as confident as I could be that the Lord wanted me to give this invitation. And yet, the moment inevitably came when I had to take the risk and see whether anyone would respond and whether the Lord would move. (You can watch the sermon here.)

The Lord moved in a powerful way. Many people who were present that day said they felt the presence of the Holy Spirit in a special and remarkable way.

It was awesome!

And it is one of the most recent instances of a pattern I’ve noticed.

I have a conviction God wants to move in a particular way. And he wants to use me to speak that to his people. I get to decide whether to speak or not. And then his people get to decide whether they will respond or not. And then those who respond get to see what the Lord will do.

This Never Gets Old and It Never Gets Easy

It never gets old. This space is where I feel the most alive and fulfilled. And it also never stops being challenging in the moment. 

If this is new to you, start small. Ask the Lord for a word for someone you are talking to in a private conversation. Or, pray for someone in private and ask for a word to encourage them. If you sense something, take a risk and share it. Ask them if it makes sense or lands. Taking these kinds of low stakes risks will help tune you in to the Lord’s voice. You may miss it sometimes. You will also begin to experience the Lord himself moving through you to encourage others. And both of you will be so encouraged.

One of the reasons I think this has always been challenging for me is because I am not in charge. If it were easy, or I had a guarantee that I wouldn’t be embarrassed on the front end, then I would be ministering in my own strength. And that is not what I want. 

What a privilege that the Lord wants to partner with us!

I have so much to learn. But at this stage in my life, I think I have learned some things. And this is why I think holding space for God to move is the both the most challenging and the most rewarding part of ministry.

I hope this helps you and is an encouragement to keep wrestling to hold space for the Lord to do what only he can do in the places where you are in ministry.

God bless you!

P.S. Don’t forget to register for the next Underground Seminary event we are having at Asbury with Rev. Andrew Forrest on his new book Love Goes First. It is going to be so fun! Details here.

Kevin M. Watson is a Pastor and the Senior Director of Christian Formation at Asbury Church in Tulsa, OK. He is also on the faculty at Asbury Theological Seminary, anchoring the Seminary’s Tulsa, OK Extension Site. His most recent book, Doctrine, Spirit, and Discipline describes the purpose of the Wesleyan tradition and the struggle to maintain its identity in the United States. Affiliate links, which help support my work, used in this post.