My senior pastor, Andrew Forrest, likes to say that you cannot be ungrateful and experience joy. If you are grateful, you will experience joy.

I think there is a lot of truth in this. And since hearing Andrew say this, I’ve noticed a number of places where it makes sense of my own experience.

Something I experienced last week made this stand out in a way I didn’t expect. The details may seem trivial to you. Stick with me. I think there is an important principle here.

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For the story to make sense, I need to give you some brief context for why this matters to me:

I am an alum of the University of Oklahoma. Football is a big deal at OU. The Sooners won their last national championship in football when I was a student. I attended every home game and the OU-Texas game (63-14!) that year. Aside from OU’s complete domination of Texas that year, the Nebraska game was the next most memorable game I experienced. OU was losing 14-0 after Nebraska’s first two possessions. And then held Nebraska scoreless the rest of the game and won 31-14. It was awesome!

A fun aside: I barely remember the national championship game because my girlfriend came over – now my wife! When I think back to that game, I remember being excited Melissa was there more than I remember the game itself. 

Ok, so I am an OU football fan. It is fine if you aren’t. You do you.

Much more depressing, I became a Dallas Cowboys fan during my time as a PhD student at Southern Methodist University. I remember actually saying to my wife, “I think I’m becoming a Dallas Cowboys fan, and I don’t like it.”  

Something happened last week that brought these two things together in a way that brought back memories of a few times I actually enjoyed being a Dallas Cowboys fan. (It has been so long, I forgot what it felt like.)

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Here is what happened:

The University of Oklahoma hired Dallas Cowboys legend Jason Witten to coach tight ends.

I can’t really explain it. This was one of those very trivial things that basically has no real impact on my life, but did impact me. When I heard the news, I felt excited and hopeful about the future for OU football. I’m sure there are lots of mundane reasons for this. They don’t matter that much here. I’m trying to use a mundane story to illustrate a deeper truth.

Soon after I heard the news of Witten’s hire, it occurred to me that Jason Witten playing for the Cowboys the last time I remember enjoying being a Cowboys fan in any way. He was easy to root for. I’ll never forget the play where his helmet popped off, and he still shrugged off the tackle and ran for 30 more yards. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, look it up!)

It was both terrifying and electrifying.

So, an NFL legend tight end, who will almost certainly soon be inducted into the Hall of Fame is coming to coach the tight ends for my favorite team.

Awesome! 

Exciting! 

So Cool!

But then do you know what I noticed? 

Some people weren’t excited.

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A brief side note on social media and algorithms. 

The algorithms for the internet are largely responsible for us seeing things like the most ridiculous and negative reactions to Jason Witten’s hire. Social media algorithms are finely tuned to incentivize things like sarcasm, disdain, contempt, disgust, anger, and rage. The uglier and more likely to spike your adrenaline reading it, the more likely it is to be pushed by the algorithm. The algorithm wants to keep your attention, period. And that is because your attention is what is being sold. At this point in the development of social media, we are naive and foolish if we expect to see the best and most thoughtful responses to anything on social media. Rather, we should expect to see the angriest and most irrational people around (and some bot accounts that don’t represent real people at all). Anger, fear, these will keep your eyeballs glued to your glowing screen for longer.

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Wait? Why would anyone not be excited that Jason Witten is a new coach at OU, especially in the exact area where he was one of the best of all time?!

Here is a generic complaint that I think fairly summarizes them all:

“Just because he was a great tight end does not mean he will be a great coach.”

Wow. Ok, Debbie Downer.

Something about this has kind of stuck with me. Gnawed at me. I realized what it was on Friday night when I was watching the Indiana Hoosiers absolutely dismantle the Oregon Ducks. 

Indiana completely dominated Oregon. 

The insight came when someone commented on how the crowd, which was in Atlanta, GA, was 95/5 in favor of Indiana.

And it just seemed like a party.

When the game became a clear blowout; it just hit me. I was saddened by the pessimism and negativity of some of the responses to Witten’s hire that seemed to come from entitlement and ingratitude.

In case you know nothing about college football, here is the short version:

The Indiana Hoosiers are known for being really good at basketball. That’s because there was a time they were really good at basketball. And also because they’ve never been good at football.

Until last year in head coach Curt Cignetti’s first season.

This year, Indiana is the last undefeated team. And on January 19^th, they will play for the national championship. Their quarterback, Fernando Mendoza, has already won the Heisman Trophy. And they have completely dominated the teams they’ve played so far in the playoffs.

It is a great story, maybe the most unexpected story in American sports of my lifetime, especially if they win it all.

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Ok, so now I can tie it all together.

Some Oklahoma fans seem entitled, ungrateful, and just pessimistic in general. OU had a great year this year. They went 10-2 in their second year in the SEC with a very difficult schedule. (By the way, this was a massive improvement from last year’s 6-7 record.) Sure they lost their last game. So does every team but one every year.

You can see negativity has become a cancer when your school unexpectedly hires an NFL legend to coach the literal position they were so good. And this is also the same position your team has been the worst at over the past few seasons. And you are still negative.

Indiana fans seem joyful and grateful for this season. Three years ago, nobody thought Indiana would be playing for a national championship.

Perhaps their lack of expectation has made it easy for them to be grateful.

Maybe Oklahoma fans are too used to success and have lost the ability to delight in it. Entitlement makes it harder (impossible?) to be grateful. To experience joy.

Now, I have no idea how Indiana fans will react if they don’t finish this remarkable run and win the entire thing. And I have no idea what Jason Witten’s legacy as a college coach will be.

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Ultimately, this post isn’t about sports. I don’t know what is going to happen next or how people will react. Here is what I do know:

My pastor is right. You cannot experience joy and be ungrateful.

If you look for reasons to worry or be pessimistic you will find them. That is easy. I think it is also lazy. Oh, I guarantee you it is a path to misery.

I want to be like the long-suffering fans of the Indiana Hoosiers and just receive the unexpected gifts that come my way. I want to savor good things. I want to keep doing the next right thing on the unremarkable days and the hard days.

I want to become a person characterized by gratitude. And, therefore, can joyfully receive the good gifts God gives me.

Lord, help us have eyes to see your blessings and receive them well.