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Kevin M. Watson

Kevin M. Watson

Category Archives: Christian Living

What Is a Small Group?

19 Tuesday Apr 2011

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Christian Living, Ministry

≈ 7 Comments

Last Friday a fascinating story was posted at UM Portal, “Going virtual: Building community through online small groups.” The article addresses many different aspects of the church’s witness through the internet. These issues, it seems to me, need more critical and careful discussion. I commend this article to you for its potential to stimulate a deeper conversation among United Methodists about what faithful ministry online looks like.

As I reread the article, I found myself a bit frustrated by how slippery of a term “small group” is. Unfortunately, the term is almost meaningless. When someone talks about a small group ministry the only thing that you can be relatively certain of is that it is a group that meets periodically that is relatively small. So, the agreed upon definition of a small group seems to be that it is a group that is small. Typically, the term “small groups” in a Christian context signifies two different types of groups: informational groups and transformational groups.

Informational groups focus on knowledge and the key question is: What do I need to know? They are curriculum driven (what book are we going to study?) and are led by an instructor. As a result, they are largely passive. The posture of those involved in informational groups is typically listening and responding to specific questions. Bible Studies are an example of this category.

Transformational groups focus on living faithfully and the key question is: How am I living? They are experience driven (how did you see God at work in your life over the past week?) and led by an exemplar (or spiritual director or mentor). As a result, they are more active than informational groups. The posture of those involved in transformational groups is typically thinking about life and the ways that we are being conformed to the image of God and the ways in which we are resisting God’s sanctifying grace. Accountability groups are an example of this category.

Often, a particular group does not fit entirely into either of these categories. A group may be primarily informational, but strives to connect the information to the person’s life. (In fact, I think most informational groups would say they want this to happen. I’m just not sure how effectively they accomplish this goal.) On the other hand, transformational groups may primarily focus on the lives of the participants, but still work in an informational component (such as a period of discussion of a passage from the Bible).

Small groups are in vogue in the 21st century United Methodist Church. But the desire of some churches to grow small group ministries has led to another category that is largely separated from the first two: affinity groups. For example, one church recently had a campaign for starting new small groups and one of the results was the organization of a “Red Hat Society” small group. To be sure, such a group meets the literal definition of a small group, it is a group and it is small. But does it represent part of the Christian ministry of the Church? I must admit, I don’t know much about Red Hat Societies. But, it is not immediately clear to me how such a group would help people learn or become more like Jesus Christ. Groups that are organized only in order to share similar interests seem to endorse a definition of small groups that is so broad it is meaningless, at least as a part of a conversation about the ministry of the Church of Jesus Christ.

The UMC’s Call to Action report has argued that the number of small groups is one of four key drivers to vitality. (You can download the research findings here.) On the one hand, it makes sense to me that the number of small groups would be a likely predictor of congregational vitality. On the other hand, it seems like more needs to be said about what kind of small groups lead to vitality. Do all groups that are small in the church actually lead to vitality? It seems to me that there is a distinction between a vitality that is related to the presence of people and a vitality that is related to people who are present and becoming more and more like Christ! In my view, an appropriate understanding of congregational vitality must be given appropriately Christian weight in defining what congregational vitality looks like. Put differently, is there a difference between a vital social organization and a vital Christian congregation? A congregation could very well be a vital social organization and not a vital congregation. It matters who is the focus of worship and how people are being formed.

So what is a small group? Perhaps a more helpful question is, what should be the definition of a small group? What do you think?

A Future with Hope for The United Methodist Church

12 Tuesday Apr 2011

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Book Review, Christian Living, Methodist History, Ministry

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Future, Generation Rising, small groups

The recent conversation about the Call to Action report and the Leadership Summit (known in the twittersphere as #umclead) has stirred up quite a bit of conversation amongst United Methodist leaders about the future of the denomination. It has also revealed a significant amount of discontent with the status quo as well as the proposals from the CTA about a way forward. One particular concern I have frequently heard is related to the role of younger people in the church. We hear a lot about the need for younger clergy in particular, but are we ready to entrust the church to them?

From that perspective, the timing of the release of Generation Rising: A Future with Hope for The United Methodist Church could not be better. The book is written by younger leaders in The United Methodist Church about why the church has a hopeful future.

As Andrew C. Thompson notes in the introduction, “There is one thing that is lacking in recent books on Wesleyan renewal in the church, though: the voice of a younger generation” (xii). To put it bluntly: a lot of people are talking about the future of the church. But the people who are consulted about the future, or given a platform to talk about what is needed for a bright future, are usually not people who are the future of the church!

If for no other reason, then, I am excited by this book because it is one of the first attempts to let the folks who are the future speak for themselves. I am pleased that Abingdon has chosen to support this task. I hope the book will be successful because that would be a sign to younger generations that the general church really does care about who we are, what we think, and what we are passionate about. Success for the book would also be great because Abingdon and other publishers are driven by profit and a desire to make money. If this book sells, it will be easier to make the case that there is a market for voices like these in the future. (I am thinking of the numerous books that came out related to emergent that began with Brian McLaren’s success and eventually led to folks being published who would not have been published otherwise. I am particularly reminded of this book, which is like Generation Rising for emergent: An Emergent Manifesto of Hope.)

The book contains multiple excellent chapters addressing the following topics: Discipleship (Andrew C. Thompson), Holy Communion (Timothy Reinhold Eberhart), Preaching (Joy Jittaun Moore), Evangelism (Jeffrey Conklin-Miller), Small Groups (Kevin M. Watson), Missions (Arnold S. Oh), Race (F. Douglas Powe, Jr.), Ecology (Presian Burroughs), Youth Ministry (Sarah Arthur), Young Adults (Julie O’Neal), Ordination (Eric Van Meter), and Internet Ministry (Shane Raynor).

If you were reading carefully, you may have noticed that I wrote the chapter on small groups. My chapter provides an introduction to the historical background of small group accountability in early Methodism. I then argue that involvement in a small group (class meetings) was basic to what it meant to be a member of the Methodist Episcopal Church for the first several decades of Methodism’s existence as a church in its own right in the United States. Ultimately, I suggest that reclaiming something like the class meeting for the contemporary United Methodist Church is key to a hopeful future for Methodism. In many ways, writing this chapter was the stimulus for much of the writing I have done here over the past few months about the relevance of the class meeting for 21st century Methodism. If you have enjoyed the posts here, you may want to read my more formal discussion of similar issues in this book.

The book is edited by Andrew C. Thompson, blogger and sometime columnist for the United Methodist Reporter. Andrew is also finishing his ThD at Duke Divinity School and will begin teaching Wesleyan Studies at Memphis Theological Seminary this fall. One of the real joys of working on this project with Andrew and the other authors is that in reading their work and interacting with them, I have found even more hope for the future. I am grateful to have been included in this project and hope you will check it out.

Further Thoughts on Measuring Effective Ministry

22 Tuesday Mar 2011

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Christian Living, Ministry

≈ 11 Comments

In a recent post, I wrestled with a quote from Dallas Willard that pointed to how easy it is to measure the effectiveness of ministry by the reactions that people have, rather than by trying to discern whether God delights in our work.

Since writing the post I have felt like I pointed to a legitimate concern, but failed to risk offering any thoughts about how to actually measure effective ministry. In response to the initial post, John Meunier wrote:

This is a huge theological issue, Kevin. All the forces in the world are lined up in favor of doing things to win the approval and praise of other people. I’m not sure how we help shelter pastors and churches from those forces and help them discern where they diverge from God’s purposes. But it is necessary.

Over the past few days, John’s comment has rattled around in my head. And I think the issue is broader than just whether a pastor primarily seeks to delight God or the folks in the pews with her sermon. For all who call themselves Christians, it is easier to seek the approval of others than God. Moreover, it is hard to measure whether God approves of our efforts. It is hard. But, as John said, “it is necessary.”

While, I suspect that faithful vibrant faith communities do typical grow, I am not convinced that growth is a guarantee of faithfulness and a seal of God’s approval. If growth in attendance were all that mattered, one of the most important aspects of church planting would be asking people what it would take for them to come to church for one hour a week, and then doing whatever that was. To push this to the point of the obviously ridiculous, you could grow a church by paying people to come for one hour a week. But no matter how large the church, a “congregation” of people who attend only because they are paid are employees, not Christians! And the growth of this “church” would not be a sign of a faithful or vibrant Christian community.

So if attendance is not enough, how do you measure faithful ministry?

Here are my initial (and very much continuing to develop) thoughts:

My first thought is that it isn’t easy, but I think I would know it when I see it.

Our lives, the churches we worship in, serve, and try to lead are all different. There are many things that they have in common. But, individual churches are more like snowflakes than cut-out cookies. So, it is difficult for me to describe in advance what faithfulness looks like. And yet, I still feel like it is readily recognizable.

Here is the most concrete thought I have had as I have thought about this post: church leaders who want to be faithful to God had better be people who rely on the means of grace. I know this sounds obvious. And yet, how many pastors really rely on prayer, searching the scriptures, communion, fasting, or Christian conferencing (searching conversation with fellow Christians) when making “real” decisions in ministry? If you are a pastor, think about a major decision you have recently made. How did you go about making the decision? What role did the means of grace play in actually making the decision? Were they of central importance, or peripheral – even nonexistent?

If John is right that, “All the forces in the world are lined up in favor of doing things to win the approval and praise of other people”, my guess is that the antidote is practicing the means of grace. I would go so far as to put it this way: If someone does not consistently practice the disciplines of prayer, searching the scriptures, communion, fasting, and Christian conferencing, we should expect their ministry to be realigned towards meeting the felt needs of the people in the pews, or to succumbing to the pressures of the world. On the other hand, I also think we should expect that someone who cultivates these Christian practices will become more sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, and able to make wise decisions as unexpected situations inevitably arise.

I admit this is basic. But is this where we are living? Are you practicing the means of grace? Are you seeking God and God’s will for your life? Am I? Perhaps this suggests a bit different call to action. Lord, help us seek and find you!

A Holy Moment

19 Saturday Mar 2011

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Christian Living, Life

≈ 3 Comments

This past Sunday my son James was baptized. Being a part of James’ reception of this sacrament was a holy moment for me. I appreciate the graciousness of Andrew Forrest, the campus pastor at Munger Place, (who is wearing green in this picture), in encouraging me to be involved in the baptism itself. It was humbling to take my son in my arms and say, “I baptize you in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit” as I poured water over his head. Thanks be to God!

How Do You Measure Effective Ministry?

11 Friday Mar 2011

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Christian Living, Ministry

≈ 3 Comments

I am re-reading Dallas Willard’s The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God (an excellent book, which I highly recommend). I read the following passage yesterday and it has really stuck with me:

Suppose I am a pastor. If, truly, God did nothing in my church service, or in response to my efforts in ministry, how much would it really matter if the people in attendance still thought and spoke well of things and returned for the next service and brought their friends? I may be tempted to think I have to attract people to hear me but could get by without God… Whatever our position in life, if our lives and works are to be of the kingdom of God, we must not have human approval as a primary or even major aim. (202)

Aren’t almost all of the ways that we talk about and measure our worship services focused on the reactions of people? We want people to like what they experienced so that they will come back and bring other people with them. A worship service that is increasing in attendance is vibrant and one that is decreasing in attendance is not. But this paradigm assumes that what attracts people is also what delights God. Is that necessarily the case?

In fact, isn’t it easy to think of examples of things that attract people that are not pleasing to God?

I suspect that one of the reasons we look for people to validate our ministries is because we can get direct feedback from people more easily than we can from the Triune God. Pastors often receive emails from parishioners about what they liked or did not like about worship. It is much less common for a pastor to receive a similar email from God.

Willard points to a serious critique of popular preaching that focuses on self-help tips or strategies for making your life better. The common element in this type of preaching is that the primary focus of the sermon is us. God is smuggled in to the extent that God can help us effectively address the problem under discussion. Please don’t misunderstand me, I think the gospel absolutely makes our lives better! However, self-help sermons usually implicitly assume that the gospel won’t change your life all that much, it will just tweak it and make it better. Such preaching can only be the result of a superficial reading of Scripture, and certainly isn’t based on the message of Jesus. The transformation the gospel offers is far deeper and more radical than sermons focused on life strategies and how to leverage the gospel for a better life.

Willard’s comments have stuck with me because it is clear to me that just because it is harder to discern whether God approves of our ministries does not mean that God’s disposition is any less important. I think we often measure the effectiveness of our ministries by other people because it is easier to get their reactions and feedback. But, if your reaction to my ministry becomes my primary concern, I run the risk of doing exactly what Willard points to – acting like my ministry is not dependent on God.

I think my friend beautifully summed up what is at stake when he responded to the quote from Willard with a passage from the Gospel of Matthew, “What good will it be for you to gain the whole world, yet forfeit your soul?” (Mt 16:26, TNIV)

The General Rules and a Holy Lent

09 Wednesday Mar 2011

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Accountability, Christian Living, links, Methodist History, Ministry, Wesley

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Christian living, discipleship, General Rules, Michael Cartwright, Wesley


One of many highlights of last week’s annual meeting of the Wesleyan Theological Society was a conversation I had with Michael G. Cartwright about a new resource on the “General Rules.” Cartwright and Andrew D. Kinsey have developed “Watching Over One Another in Love: Reclaiming the Wesleyan Rule of Life for the Church’s Mission” which is a 28 day day study of the “General Rules.” I have not had the chance to read through this resource, but it looks excellent and I am looking forward to getting into it. (My first impression, when I was given a copy was that the design and layout is beautiful!)

And the price of this resource is right. You can download it here for free! For more, you can also go to The Indiana Annual Conference’s Wesleyan ConneXion page to download another free resource that contains articles by Richard P. Heitzenrater and William J. Abraham on the relevance of the Wesleyan tradition for contemporary United Methodism.

As I write this on Ash Wednesday, I can’t help but think that using “Watching Over Another in Love ” could be a great way to help you have a holy Lent in preparation for the good news that we will hear again on Easter Sunday. In fact, it would be a great way to take on John Meunier’s recent challenge to focus on what it would look like to “be Methodist” during the forty days of Lent.

Hearing from a 21st Century Class Leader (Part 4)

24 Thursday Feb 2011

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Accountability, Christian Living, Ministry, Wesley

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

21st Century Class Meeting, Christian formation, class meeting, Nick Weatherford, small groups

This post is the fourth and final post in a series within a series. Broadly, it is a continuation of my series of posts on the Methodist class meeting for the twenty-first century. (Click here for a link to the last general post in this series, which also contains a link to an outline of the rest of the series.) More specifically, this is the fourth post in a series written by Nick Weatherford, who is a member of Munger Place Church and a leader of a Kitchen Group, which is a 21st century class meeting. This series will allow you to hear directly from a lay person who is currently leading a class meeting. In the first post, Nick shared his story with you and talked about the role that being in a class meeting played in his recommitting to a life of Christian discipleship. In the second post, Nick talked about the impact that leading a Kitchen Group has had on his faith. The third post discussed the impact that Nick believes that these groups are having on Munger Place. In this post, Nick talks about the impact that he thinks reclaiming the class meeting for the 21st century would have on contemporary United Methodism. I deeply appreciate the time that Nick has taken in writing this series of posts, which will appear throughout the course of this week. He has agreed to follow the discussion and interact with any comments or questions that you may have, so I hope you will take advantage of the opportunity to interact with Nick.

What impact do you think reclaiming these kinds of groups could have on the larger UMC?

I personally believe that the UMC should focus on the roots of the Wesleyan tradition. When I was considering a church, denomination was not particularly important although I certainly had some preconceptions of the Methodist church. I think in many congregations they are probably quite true. However, through getting to know Kevin and Andrew, I have been exposed to John Wesley and the early foundations of Methodism. Munger has made a very conscious effort to embrace that heritage primarily through Kitchen Groups (or as I have learned, what Wesley called “class meetings”). For Wesley, being in these class meetings wasn’t just encouraged, it was required. In fact, for a time it served as your ticket to worship on Sunday. I picked up a book on Wesley and developed a crude understanding of Wesley’s theology and the formation of the early Methodist church. I learned that for a time in American history, the Methodist church grew from being quite small in number to becoming the fastest growing and largest denomination in the country. And, there weren’t even enough preachers to go around!

Wesley understood that assembling people into these class meetings was essential for their spiritual maturity. This was a place where they could watch over one another in love, to encourage each other, to encounter God’s grace and to keep people committed to the task at hand. Wesley understood that group participation and interaction would lead to active membership. The groups would create a system where people heard and shared the gospel each week, and groups would allow the church to grow in number through members being actively engaged in ministry with each other. These early groups were able to raise large sums of money to support charity. The members were active in attending to the needs of the least, last and lost in their communities.

I understand that the UMC overall is declining in numbers, and that most congregations have far more members than folks who attend church any given week. I think many people are unsure of what the Methodist tradition is about, even within its churches. Based on what I have learned from reading up on Wesley and through launching Munger, I believe the heart of the Methodist tradition is an active commitment to the church and to Christ’s ministry of reconciliation. It’s about getting your hands dirty, and committing to give financially and to serve in the community. It’s also about grace. It’s about committing to a group knowing that we are going to struggle but that this participation will ultimately keep us engaged in our relationship with God.

It’s also about seeing salvation as the starting line for your relationship with God. Wesley believed that grace allowed us to respond to God’s call in our hearts, but that we were to engage ourselves daily (methodically!) in reconciling ourselves to who God is calling us to be. I don’t find that people are afraid of expectations. People want to be involved in something that matters and they want know what the principals and theology of their church are. Embracing this is resulting in an active community of believers at Munger, many of whom did not come from the Methodist tradition.

Ultimately though, these groups don’t measure us or grade us. They are certainly not there to pressure us or make us feel guilty. They are there to encourage us and challenge us. They remind us each week that our God is a God of second chances and they help us begin looking at our lives as if our faith and relationship with God was the only thing that matters.

– Nick Weatherford

Hearing from a 21st Century Class Leader (Part 3)

23 Wednesday Feb 2011

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Accountability, Christian Living, Ministry, Wesley

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

21st Century Class Meeting, Christian formation, class meeting, Nick Weatherford, small groups

This post is the third post in a series within a series. Broadly, it is a continuation of my series of posts on the Methodist class meeting for the twenty-first century. (Click here for a link to the last general post in this series, which also contains a link to an outline of the rest of the series.) More specifically, this is the third post in a series written by Nick Weatherford, who is a member of Munger Place Church and a leader of a Kitchen Group, which is a 21st century class meeting. This series will allow you to hear directly from a lay person who is currently leading a class meeting. In the first post, Nick shared his story with you and talked about the role that being in a class meeting played in his recommitting to a life of Christian discipleship. In the second post, Nick talked about the impact that leading a Kitchen Group has had on his faith. This post discusses the impact that Nick believes that these groups are having on Munger Place. In the final post, Nick talks about the impact that he thinks reclaiming the class meeting for the 21st century would have on contemporary United Methodism. I deeply appreciate the time that Nick has taken in writing this series of posts, which will appear throughout the course of this week. He has agreed to follow the discussion and interact with any comments or questions that you may have, so I hope you will take advantage of the opportunity to interact with Nick.

What impact do I think these groups are having on Munger?

The groups are certainly becoming part of Mungers DNA. I hope that we are creating a culture where you will feel like you are missing out if you are not actively in a group. Not because anyone is trying to stand up each week and “sell” you on it, but because someone you know at church tells you what they are experiencing in a group, or even better, because you recognize something different about the Kitchen Group members.

One of the things often repeated about Munger is that it feels like home. I believe group participation really fosters this sense. I have never felt more comfortable walking into a church before and I know that part of that is due to the fact that I am going to see someone from my group across the room or chat with them after the service. Having little communities within our church really makes folks feel welcome and even excited to walk through the doors on Sunday. I can’t speak for everyone, but I have heard folks mention that for that Sunday is now their favorite day of the weekend. I imagine there are several reasons for that at Munger, but I believe that part of it is that the group experience prepares you for worship. On Sunday, we celebrate, but during our meetings we do a lot of the heavy lifting, focusing on our personal ups and downs in our faith journeys with a group of fellow believers. We encounter the grace of the Holy Spirit there. We are more aware of where we stand with God, and more eager and ready to experience His loving presence on Sunday.

From a very practical standpoint, I think the groups are accomplishing a lot of work for the church. Whenever we have a service day, an outreach event or need volunteers, the majority of the folks you will see are in one of our groups. Whatever the Lord is accomplishing in our groups is translating into service amongst the members. Part of this is bound to be the comfort zone of knowing folks at these activities and getting to hang out with your Kitchen Group friends, but I think there is also more to it than that.

– Nick Weatherford

Hearing from a 21st Century Class Leader (Part 2)

22 Tuesday Feb 2011

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Accountability, Christian Living, Ministry, Wesley

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

21st Century Class Meeting, Christian formation, class meeting, Nick Weatherford, small groups

This post is the second post in a series within a series. Broadly, it is a continuation of my series of posts on the Methodist class meeting for the twenty-first century. (Click here for a link to the last general post in this series, which also contains a link to an outline of the rest of the series.) More specifically, this is the second post in a series written by Nick Weatherford, who is a member of Munger Place Church and a leader of a Kitchen Group, which is a 21st century class meeting. This series will allow you to hear directly from a lay person who is currently leading a class meeting. In the first post, Nick shared his story with you and talked about the role that being in a class meeting played in his recommitting to a life of Christian discipleship. In this post, Nick talks about the impact that leading a Kitchen Group has had on his faith. The third post discusses the impact that Nick believes that these groups are having on Munger Place. In the final post, Nick talks about the impact that he thinks reclaiming the class meeting for the 21st century would have on contemporary United Methodism. I deeply appreciate the time that Nick has taken in writing this series of posts, which will appear throughout the course of this week. He has agreed to follow the discussion and interact with any comments or questions that you may have, so I hope you will take advantage of the opportunity to interact with Nick.

What impact has leading a group had on me and my Christian faith?

Leading a kitchen group has helped me to recognize that the Holy Spirit is active and is always amazing. Only a portion of our meetings revolve around Bible study. I have honestly struggled with that part of our meetings. I was so nervous the first couple of weeks. My voice shook as I stumbled through our lesson. I wanted them to be blessed by this experience the same way that I have been blessed. Christ’s story isn’t contained by whatever text we are studying though. He is present in the lives of our group members today and we need to hear that story as well. Each believer, strong or struggling, new to the faith or old, brings something to the group each week that someone needs to hear.

We pray each week that the Lord will be amongst us and I have come to realize that God is present, and that no matter how much I try to run a good meeting, no matter how eloquent my prayer might be, etc., the success of our groups has nothing to do with the leader at all. The Holy Spirit is truly active in our group, wanting to bless us with his presence. You cannot convince me otherwise. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking miracles and conversions here. Sometimes it’s the small steps or just the love of someone reaching out and offering some encouragement from shared experience. But I can see it. I see it in the relationships that are being formed, the changes occurring in people’s hearts and the resolve of the group to stick it out this time. I have also learned that people long for honest interactions about their faith, doubts, struggles and triumphs. It is difficult to share stories of our faith in work and often with our friends and families.

– Nick Weatherford

Hearing from a 21st Century Class Leader (Part 1)

21 Monday Feb 2011

Posted by Kevin M. Watson in Accountability, Christian Living, Ministry, Wesley

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

21st Century Class Meeting, Christian formation, class meeting, Nick Weatherford, small groups

This post begins a series within a series. Broadly, it is a continuation of my series of posts on the Methodist class meeting for the twenty-first century. (Click here for a link to the previous post which also contains a link to an outline of the rest of the series.) More specifically, this series of posts is written by Nick Weatherford, who is a member of Munger Place Church and a leader of a Kitchen Group, which is a 21st century class meeting. The rest of this post and the next three posts will allow you to hear directly from a lay person who is currently leading a class meeting. In this first (and longest) post, Nick shares his story with you and talks about the role that being in a class meeting has played in his recommitting to a life of Christian discipleship. In the second post, Nick talks about the impact that leading a Kitchen Group has had on his faith. The third post discusses the impact that Nick believes that these groups are having on Munger Place. In the final post, Nick talks about the impact that he thinks reclaiming the class meeting for the 21st century would have on contemporary United Methodism. I deeply appreciate the time that Nick has taken in writing this series of posts, which will appear throughout the course of this week. He has agreed to follow the discussion and interact with any comments or questions that you may have, so I hope you will take advantage of the opportunity to interact with Nick.

A couple of weeks ago my friend Kevin Watson asked me to contribute a guest post about my experiences in Munger Place small groups to his blog. I must confess that I have been finding excuses not to get started. I have not written about my faith in quite some time and I want to do his great blog justice. Lately, I could talk to you about these things for hours, but putting them down on paper is something entirely different.

First, I thought a little background might be relevant here. I grew up in the church, particularly in the Baptist tradition here in Dallas, TX. I also attended a Christian school here. Therefore, faith was also part of the social structure of my life. It affected my standing at school and I felt like I was always under a microscope. There was pressure to talk the talk. My senior year of high school, I was not required to go to church any longer. Perhaps my mother had hoped that I would desire to go by my own will, but it didn’t happen. I figured I had had enough church: I got it. I didn’t discount it completely but my new found independence did not include anything to do with regular attendance at church. Still, I went off to college counting myself among the faithful. I can’t tell you at what point I started treating Jesus like that friend from childhood that you just didn’t want hanging around anymore, but it happened almost unconsciously for a variety of reasons I’m not exploring here. Anyway, I figured I had it down. I must not need my faith because everything is going great. Besides, I don’t really want to let people in on my little faith secret anyway. I’m having too much fun wrapped up in college and fraternity life. So began my journey through the wilderness of self reliance and self deception. I’ve got the job, the right friends, the house and the car. Weekends are booked. All is well. I was content with those things for awhile. Life was exactly as it was supposed to be. Then, the emptiness started to set in. My answers and my “things” left me feeling spiritually bankrupt. I was empty and aching.

I confess my first attempts to get back into a church were met with the same reluctance that I have felt about starting this blog post. I didn’t really know where to begin again. I dared to pray about it. My brother and his fiancé had been going to the Cornerstone service at Highland Park United Methodist Church. I figured I could tag along safely with them. Well, soon after that I heard about the Munger Place campus that was being started in East Dallas. Then I met the campus pastor Andrew Forrest at the open house. Next thing you know I’m nervously waiting in the car before going up to knock on the door at my first small group meeting (at Munger we call them “Kitchen Groups”).

What has being involved in a small group done for my own Christian faith?

I have come to realize the importance of being called into community with one another and of God’s unrelenting grace. We are not asked to, or intended to do this alone. I would argue from personal experience that our faith will wither away over time if we are not proactively involving ourselves in community with other believers.

I didn’t know what to expect when I arrived for my first meeting. We began with a Psalm, a prayer and then a short Bible study. Next, the question was posed, “How is your life in God?” I had never been asked that question before! What was everyone going to say? I was relieved I didn’t have to answer first. After hearing everyone’s responses I was at ease. This was a group of folks, from different backgrounds and experiences, who were not only willing to, but seemed to look forward to sharing the details of their relationship with Christ. There were other ways given to respond to this same question: “Are you further or closer to where you want to be spiritually?” “When did you feel closest and furthest from God this week?” “When did you most feel love this week?”

I don’t remember what I shared that night. I do remember that everyone listened, was honest and real. There was no pressure for me to pretend I had it together or that everything was perfect. The only expectation was that I show up, and that I share if I was willing. I did not have to measure up to anyone’s standard, this group accepted me as I was, where I was, and were genuinely interested in my personal relationship with the Lord.

Perhaps because of my background, I thought being really actively involved in church was something you did when you were on God’s “good side”, when you were in some sort of right relationship with him and following some set of rules. I have learned that all of us, even our pastors and leaders have rough weeks or periods where they question what God’s will is and whether or not they are brave enough to pursue it. Being honest with others about our faith helps us to be open books before God. Experiencing a little bit of grace each week by being accepted by those in our group with all of our messiness and brokenness has been a gift. I often find I hear just the thing I needed to hear whether it is in the form of encouragement, or if I am being pushed a little bit.

I think we are our own worst enemies and toughest critics. If we are not forgiving ourselves and accepting grace from each other, how can we accept the gift that Jesus has freely given us? The Kitchen Group helps me to do that. And, by more deeply understanding His grace I am more eager to dare to be like Him. So, realizing that we all have the same struggles no matter how long we’ve been at this and that faith does not always come easily for all of us has made participation in our church seem more genuine and authentic to me.

Kitchen Groups foster a community of honesty and personal accountability. The accountability comes not in any prescribed set of rules or confessions (this is not group therapy or a 12 step program) but in learning to understand and respond to all of our experiences, good and bad, through the perspective our relationship with God. I think more about my faith than I ever have in my life, asking myself more and more often “how is my life in God”, even outside of the group setting.

Finally, I think the small group experience provides a sort of spiritual checks and balances. Weeks where I have dragged myself to a meeting because I didn’t like anything that I might have to say for myself, I have gained from the group the strength I need to keep trying. Weeks where I can really feel God’s presence, I am sobered by the struggles of my brothers and sisters and I get to do some encouraging.

I think this helps us learn to approach God even in our weakness, to understand our brokenness. I was reminded just last Sunday that we so often resort to our default answers when we interact with people. Even at Church on Sunday. We smile and say we are doing well when we are asked, sweeping whatever might really be going on under the rug. I am guilty of pretending that I have it together even when I am a mess. At small group I am honest. I am forced to reconcile myself to how I am REALLY doing. I read that it saddens God when we don’t believe that we are totally forgiven and are uncomfortable approaching him. I find that in my life, I sometimes have the hardest time forgiving myself. The group experience helps me do more of that each week.

In contemporary churches, there seem to be ample opportunities for Bible studies and programs, but Kitchen Groups don’t follow any particular curriculum. We just ask you to analyze your own experiences through the lens of faith. What has God revealed to you this week? What do you need to work on? What is holding you back? It doesn’t ask you to measure up to any particular standard other than a genuine desire to be more of who you are being called to be as a follower of Jesus.

– Nick Weatherford

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